Monday, October 3, 2011

Search for Significance

If there is one thing that I have learned from working with youth, it is that everyone is trying to find something. It may be simple like finding a new hobby, or looking for something new to add to their life. But I know that many of our youth today are looking for something more.
They are looking for significance.

A place where they belong...
A place where they are accepted...
A place where they are loved...
A place to call home...
A place where they mean something...

Adolescents today are searching for significance because there is an empty void that they feel deep inside their souls. It is not simple. It is not easy. Something has to be better doesn't it? Something HAS to be missing? But what is it? I have tried to think critically about my own life and things that I have used to fulfill this need to matter. This need to BE SOMEONE. I have tried so many different places that I cannot even remember where I have looked. This search is more than looking under a couple rocks and moving along. It is a frantic search for a treasure that is of utmost importance. Ever wonder why guys try hard to be seen tough, masculine, and important? Or why girls care so much about their appearance, their dress, and their relationships ? I think it all boils down to this idea of being significant. I am reminded of two stories from teenagers that help with this idea:

I met "Mike" when I was on camp teams. He was from inner city Cincinnati and just by looking at him you can tell that he was having a tough time being at church camp. We struck up a relationship through basketball. Every time he had the chance, he would challenge me to a game of 1 on 1. I got the chance to sit down with him one evening and talk about his life. He had no problem telling me that he was in a gang and that he "rides and dies with his boys". When he heard about Jesus, he often looked into the distance as if to wonder what he could possible offer Mike. Mike was almost ashamed to tell me that he had a decent home life, because he thought he would ruin h is street cred. Mike was looking for something. He was searching for a place where he belonged and he found it--in his gang. He told me that he didn't really like violence or drugs, but that is what he had to do in order to fit in. I often wonder what Mike is doing today. I was honored to baptize him at camp, but I wonder how he is finding his significants today. Is it in the church?

Then there is "Ali". I have known Ali for a long time, but never really thought much about her lifestyle. We had been semi-friends for awhile and when she found out I was going to Ozark, she jumped at the opportunity to talk with me. I remember tears rolling down her face and smearing her over applied make up. I had trouble understanding what she was saying, but she was telling me how empty she felt. That she wore the things she did, and acted the way she did because it was the only way that people noticed her. It was the only way she could get guys to realize she is a person. She admitted to jumping into any guy's arms that showed her attention, and although she felt like she was wrong, she could justify it by how it made her feel. I remember praying with her and telling her to get involved somewhere--a church that I knew could accept her and help transform her. I saw her a little while later, and she acted as if nothing had ever happened. As if she never told me how empty she felt and how her void was being filled with things that wouldn't last and didn't matter.

Both of these stories happen all across the world. Different situations, different names, different cultures, and different people--but it happens all across the world. I think the time that significance plays its biggest toll is when you are laying in bed. In between that state of being wide awake and starting to get tired. In those moments, our minds race about all kinds of things. Responsibilities for the next day, our futures, current problems, reflections, and this idea of significance. We think half critically and half hypothetically about situations that we place ourselves in. Do we matter? The thought about our funeral often brings a wondering of, "who would be there?" "Who would miss me". I don't work with youth just because they are fun, enthusiastic, and mold able. I work with youth because there is such a need that only God can fill.

If you a.....

Teenager--Please believe that you mean something. That you are worth the world to the most important person that ever lived. You are worth dying for. Your significance cannot be measured by what you do, who you date, or what you are good at. You significance was so important that Jesus was willing to die to spend eternity with you. You mean more to people than you will ever know. Get connected to someone who can tell you about Jesus on a deep level. It is the most important thing you can do.

Parent--Please believe me when I say that all kids go through this tough struggle about significance. If you have an amazing child that loves you and loved Jesus, then I am thankful for that. But please know that this struggle effects everyone. Whether you know about it or not. Be active in your kid's lives and although they shrug off the I love you's and push you away when you give them hugs--it means the world to them to know that they have people who care about them. It plays a vital role in a development process that never stops.

Youth worker--Keep doing what you are doing. Critically think of ways to keep kids involved and always always connect them with Jesus. Put yourself in a situation where students want to talk to you about their lives on a deep level. Make yourself available and let them know that they mean something to you.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Camp Season


In youth ministry, you are guaranteed at least three things during the summer: ridiculously crazy schedules, lots of fun, and some sort of camp/CIY. It's only half way through the summer, and I have experienced all three already....with more still to come!

We leave for CIY in a few weeks, but I was able to take some of the junior highers to camp in June. We had a great time, and it was really great to spend extra time with some students that I only see a couple hours a week. I dominated about 10 jr highers in swimming pool wrestling, and convinced a scared girl to jump off the doc. All in all, it was a great week. Yet, I had two major things that stuck out to me during camp....

First off, I was reunited with my old youth minister, David Logsdon, and his family. Bettina spent the whole week at camp (what a trooper) and David popped in every once in awhile. Their two oldest kids, Jalen and Brenna, were campers that week. I stayed in the same dorm has Jalen and witnessed the sneaky instigator work his magic. I was a Action life group leader (fancy name for family group leader) for group 12, properly named the Gladiators...maybe not the best name, but it beat out the purple flying unicorns. And sure enough, the dean yelled out, "BRENNA LOGSDON" to be apart of my group. Brenna is the sweetest child known to man. Brenna has a smile that makes ironmen melt. But what makes Brenna so powerful is not that she has a great smile, but that she is a fighter.

Brenna was 5 years old when her family left my home church and took on a new ministry in Oklahoma. The first time I saw Brenna all grown up, I wouldn't have blamed her not remembering me...but sure enough..she ran at me full speed and jumped to give me a huge hug. But by looking at this sweet girl, you would never guess that she has gone through more than almost anyone I know. Soon after her family left for Oklahoma, the doctors found out that she had a tumor in her brain. Her family was loved so much by my home church...it was hard to see them go, but even harder to face the fact that this little girl was about to go through a fight for her life.

When we found out that Brenna was getting her head shaved, we all wanted some way to help...but being high school students, there wasn't much we could do. So one Sunday at youth group, we all shaved our heads and took a picture so Brenna would know that we are all thinking about her and that she is not alone....Little did I know that shaving my head for the rest of my life! Through the support of her family, church, and God, Brenna made a recovery after long stints in hospitals. AND she was actually in my family group at camp 5-7 years later in life.

It all hit me one day while we were hanging out with our group--We were drawling pictures from different times in our lives...the highs, the lows, the future, all of that jazz. And I caught myself just watching Brenna draw her pictures. And it all kind of flashed before my eyes....isn't it crazy how God works? Her parents made Jesus real to me when I was in middle school......then they moved away...then I decided to do youth ministry....then the church I work for in Muskogee and the church they work for in Cleveland both go to the same church camp....Then Brenna is in my group! Now the child of my spiritual leaders is in my group where for a week I can be a spiritual leader to her. Crazy to wrap my mind around and it was an awesome week catching up with them. (David, YES we are doing lunch soon!)

The 2nd thing that sticks out to me doesn't have quiet the back story--in fact, it has none. There was this student in my group and he was......well, that kid. If you have worked with students before, you know exactly what I am talking about. He was super awesome, BUT he was THAT KID that was kinda awkward, he didn't really talk to anybody, wanted to sit out of everything that we did, got into a little bit of trouble during group...you know, that kid. Not that he was a bad kid at all, just needs extra attention. We were on our 3rd day at camp and he started to say he was sick (a common excuse he used to try to get out of things). I told him that he can go see the nurse AFTER we got done with our activity....he put his head down...defeated, but willing to participate.

We were carrying these burlap sacks filled with rocks...some were heavy, some weren't so heavy...but this poor kid must have picked up the heaviest one. We were carrying them up this super rocky steep hill...and as an overweight, out of shape, 22 year old man, it was tough for me! I was last in our line, just making sure that noone was left behind. When I offered to help this kid with his sack...and he looked up at me and said "No Jim, this is mine...I have to carry it"... I was shocked, surprised that he was really wanting to do it. Later on our walk, he came back to me and said, "Jim, I know what this sack is." I knew what he was going to say...he was going to say, there is a rock in here and its heavy! But instead, he looked up towards a tree that was above my head and he said:

"This is my burden that I carry....This burden stands for all the kids at school that say that I am weird and that I am not worth anything...thats what I am carrying around."

And he turned around....and kept walking.

I refer to this as the "AHA" moment...where a student finally GETS IT...and boy did he get it.

Hope you all have a blessed rest of the summer! And follow me on Twitter @Jim_Landis (that is an unashamed plug)